I was recently talking with a friend about men (for a change) and we got into a big discussion about why men frown upon women who just want to have no strings sex, but pat their male counterparts on the back when they do it.

I think the arrival of on screen characters like Sammantha Jones of Sex and The City has given an impression that if you are a woman that wants to have no strings, no thrills sex that they should make it be known to the guys their bonking off. I think they expect to be greeted with a guy who is really pleased at the lack of commitment expectation and the upfront honesty but instead they often get given a hard time by these guys.

“I don’t get it. What did I do wrong by saying that all I wanted to do is f*ck?”

She told him, that’s what’s wrong.

What is this need that women have for spilling their guts about every emotion and opinion they have and believing that they need to tell the guy that all they want is a shag?

Let’s be logical here.
Why does a woman think that she needs to tell a guy that she just wants a shag, when many men don’t give that type of honesty to a woman and allow her to think that much more will happen after having sex, even though it won’t? How many times have I heard tales of women dating a guy, finally having sex and then never hearing from him again? What about the lame excuses? His sudden unavailability? The cringey moment when he says he’ll call despite having no intention of doing so?
Why not be like the guy and have sex and deal with ‘the conversation’ after? If he is secretly like minded and is also looking for a f*ck, then it is highly unlikely that a ‘conversation’ will be had because neither party wanted anything other than sex.

Women need to stop having a pathological desire to tell all and extend common courtesy because they will not be thanked for it by the guy on the receiving end. His ego needs to feel that the woman is lying below him, on top of him or on all fours etc, really digs him and wants him to come back for more. He doesn’t want to feel that he is being used for a shag and that there is nothing more to him than his penis.

Yes it’s utterly ridiculous, but if a woman doesn’t want to find herself getting a load of verbal or mistreatment from the guy she just wanted a shag from, then she needs to learn the rules and play the game. It is unfortunate that there is even a game, but that’s life and everything has its unspoken rules.

As for the guys in question being rude to these women or mistreating them, they do the first because they feel offended and the latter because they want to test the woman and see if she’s Miss Ballsy Independent That Just Wants a Shag. When she reacts to his mistreatment this in his mind proves that she’s not what she said she is. What these guys need to remember is that she said she just wanted no strings sex, and that doesn’t mean that she has suddenly lost the ability to have feelings and that she shouldn’t be treated with respect because she’s not making his ego feel better.
To save hurt feelings, women need to zip it and stop the ‘openness’. There is far too much chit chat going on for something that is supposed to be no strings. And when the guy susses that she’s not doe eyed and clammering for more of his lovin and gives her shit over it, she needs to be the bigger person and rise above it, because it didn’t mean anything anyway.

So ladies, that means quit over explaining, quit telling them exactly how it is, and quit trying to lay it all out on the table. He doesn’t need or want to know and it’s not worth the aggravation.

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